The Life I Chose to live

   Every day I put myself through the same crap. I wake up, I'm tired, and I push through it. I do things I know damn good and well I shouldn't. Like today... did I wait on some big strong man to move my fridge and stove. Nope. I didn't even wait on help. I call this Super Woman syndrome. And boy do I ever pay for it.     Most days I regret it. I forget that my body is aging and it's going to hurt to do the things I did 10 years ago. But I still do it. Consequences be damned. It's not like some magic fairy is going to come along and do it for me. Trust me, if I could swish a wand and it all be done.. I most definitely would. But that's just not how things are here in the real world.     But I will say this, maybe I should be just a tad bit more careful with the extents I take things some times. Moving a fully loaded fridge across the kitchen just might be one of those times in the future. But probably not. I'll probably do it myself a...

   Today Damian and I got to enjoy yet another day out with A and B. They took us to a local Mexican restaurant for lunch. Which was absolutely wonderful by the way. It's been a long while since I've been out for Mexican. I think we all ate until we couldn't eat any more. Although I should have listened to A and ordered the seafood soup that she had because it smelled amazing.     By the time we had finished our food and ran a few errands, it was time to pick up their youngest from school. Damian loves when the kids get out of school because it always means play time. But today was a little different. Instead of diving right into the fun, we sat the kids down to watch a little tv while we tackled the house rather quickly. Then the fun really began. We loaded the kids up and took them to an event held by camp fire. There were bounce houses, face painting, tug of war, and food.    Damian was rather skiddish of the bounce house to start with but by the time ...

"Humanity  is the  human  race, which includes everyone on Earth. It's also a word for the qualities that  make  us  human , such as the ability to love and  have  compassion, be creative, and not be a robot or alien."       Whatever happened to humanity? When did society turn it's nose up at people and inscribe it into people's brains that the only people that mattered were ourselves? Since when is it so bad to have emotions and care about others well-being as well as our own?Since when did the human race become so heartless?       These are questions I have to ask myself everyday. I watch people around me and it disgust me. Very few people in this world have any humanity left in them. It's heartbreaking. It's a world that I'm not proud to live in.        From the time I was old enough to remember human interaction my mom instilled compassion in me. She always taught my ...

    Sometimes I wonder how some people can be so heartless and cold when the situation calls for kindness and understanding. I'm not even sure how to deal with people that are that way. 

   You know honestly, I didn't think there were many "good" people left in this world. I guess the small town we used to call home had killed the theory of kindness for me. People there just didn't know how to think of anyone but themselves. It really made me question people. But this move has showed me that some "good" people do still exist. In some of my recent post I've been talking about these new friends we have made (A, B, and J), they have really changed my opinion on people.      They aren't exactly your traditional Christian people. They are what most consider to be "different" with a "different" lifestyle. But they are genuinely kind people. They aren't only looking out for themselves. And while yes we have lent them a helping hand, they try to repay the favor when they can. For instance, A came to visit yesterday. She had a couple of hours to kill before she had to make her rounds to pick up kids from school. While...

    Last night Daddy and I took advantage of not having little man at home. So we ended up going over to a friend's house for the evening. I hadn't intended on staying as late as we did, but 2 a.m. came quickly. Time passes and quickly when you're having fun. I really do think that Daddy and I have finally found some decent friends in the area. People we don't mind being around a lot. People that aren't going to use us. People we can genuinely enjoy spending time with. We will call them mystery person A, B, and J for now.     Anyway, we had a blast last night. We were originally supposed to play beer pong last night, but I took a longer nap than expected so Daddy and I didn't get there until everything had already kicked off. But we still had a great time. We drank, and played cards, talked, and joked. Our party poopers were there as well, so we didn't let ourselves get too out of hand. But it was still fun, asides from one individual (R) getting butt hurt ...

   I have to admit I had a great time today. My friends and I decided to pack up this morning and just have a day out. We had a blast. We got our hair cut, we went out to eat, we shopped, and of course did a bit of window shopping. It could have been a little better if there weren't certain annoyances, but that was inevitable. But I think I can speak for myself and the others saying today was a great day. I can't wait to spend more time with them. 

   Honestly, I don't know why we are always so happy it's Friday. For me it is one of the most stressful days of the week. I drown in the constant numbers floating through my head. And then of course there's the "What's due?", "What can I pay early?", "How much goes into savings?", "Am I sure that's what goes in savings? Better recalculate first". And then there's my all time favorite "Shit, did I make sure there was cushion money for this week?". Then the whole calculating process starts all over again.     I start this process around 5 a.m. every Friday morning. It finally comes to an end about 4 hours later. By then I have a major headache and I'm ready to call it a day. Then I have to remind myself that I did it to myself. Maybe life would be simpler if I did like most normal people and just paid bills when they were due vs trying to stay ahead by at least a week. So instead of crawling back in b...

      I've been holding off on sharing this because my mini me hadn't given me permission to share pictures until today. During all of my travels when I was younger I kind of had a girl adopt me as her mom. Well now that little girl is all grown up with a baby of her own on the way. I feel privileged because she chose to give her baby girl a piece of me. She came up with Paisley Rose. She said she chose rose because of my middle name Roselani. I can't believe that in just a month and a half she will be here. I can't wait to get a million pictures of you Miss Paisley Rose.

   A movie that I watched this evening actually got me to thinking. How do we define the value of our lives? To be honest, a lot of us live by others standards. I include myself in that category sometimes as well. We measure our worth by money, material items, who has the better paying jobs, the niceness of our home, the year\make\ model of our vehicles. And we don't just stop there. We measure our worth based on what society sees fit for us to look like as well.     Were in all of that do we find our true worth? Is our existence on this planet only measurable by our monetary status and a  1-10 scale of "hotness"? I'm sorry, but I know my worth is more than a dollar sign and a number on a scale. A humans worth should be measured by their happiness. It's not a number on a scale that's going to make you happy. It's how you feel about yourself. It's not the amount of your check that is going to make you happy or the things you can by with it. I...

   This is exactly how I'm starting off my Wednesday, a nice hot cup of coffee and a positive attitude. It's a permanent change that I am trying to apply to my life. If I start the day off thinking "today is going to be great and successful" it normally turns out to be just that. It's easier to stay in a good mood when I start it out in a positive mind set. Yeah, there are always going to be set backs.. but it's ultimately up to us how we choose to react to them. If we are always negative about our situation, then of course everything is going to be shitty. But we can change that. Our lives are completely in our hands. You can choose to live in misery by looking at everything negatively, or you can make the best of every situation. It is up to each and every one of us to make our own lives better.  So cheers to another beautiful day. Happy Wednesday lovelies. I hope is everything you want it to be and more.

   This post is a little late because I was hoping to get a picture of her to add to this post. But yesterday my friend conned me into taking another dog. Since Princess took so well to me, she said Damian needed a companion. That's exactly what  she is. She took to him the moment she came through the door. She is a bit high strung, which suites him perfectly.  They played for the majority of yesterday evening. They must have tired each other out because once I finished watching my movie and eating dinner, I found everyone in bed. This included Daenerys (Damian's new companion).     She does suit him very well. She even did me a favor and cuddled with him, so he slept in his own bed all night. But anyways.. meet Daenerys.

       Today I have two focuses. One being getting this house completely back in order. Which by the way I completely exhausted myself yesterday. So today my focus is laundry and a few odds and ends. But for the remainder of the day, I will be focusing on my second goal... Showing myself a little self love. This means taking a break and doing something I love.     So I've invited a couple of friends over to spend the day with me and enjoy some girl time. For us, that includes coffee, doing our nails, and just enjoying some chat while the guys are away at work. I'm looking forward to just enjoying a day. Even though that is what got me in yesterday's mess. But I have to remind myself that sometimes it's just worth it. If I spend my entire life focusing on the things that need to be done, cleaning, exc.. then where am I living my life?       So cheers! Here's to a day of relaxation and girl time. Remember readers... you can...

   Isn't she so precious? You can definitely tell she is my dog. It's rare that you find her anywhere but where her momma is.

      I have to say that this is one of the best series I have watched in a long while. Over the last 5 years Marvel has really lost it's touch. But this was a redeemer. It was good enough to keep me up several nights. Every episode left me wanting more. It was action packed and (for once) not predictable.     If you even remotely enjoy Marvel movies or action movies, I suggest giving it a try. 

  I basically took the weekend off. I did the bare essentials here at home and just enjoyed myself for a change. I definitely needed it. Now the problem is catching up on all of those things I didn't do over the weekend. There is a little bit of regret there because my to do list for today leaves almost no time for relaxation, and I'm already tired because I stayed up late to do some self care. But I wouldn't trade one minute of my weekend to have been at home cleaning. So I guess I only have myself to blame for the hectic and vigorous cleaning that I have to get done today.      On the plus side, the house should still be clean tomorrow so I can enjoy my friends coming over tomorrow. Lets just hope I actually get some sleep tonight instead of starting off another day late.  So for this moment, I'm just going to drink my coffee and strategically plan how to get all of this to do list done without losing my head. It's definitely Monday lovelies. Bright b...

   My two tiny terrors are so adorable. They fell asleep on my bed. It's so sweet to see them cuddling.

   Today started off a little off track. I ended up over sleeping. My MIL was here before I ever crawled out of bed. So our girls day out got off to a late start. But that didn't stop us from having fun. We hit quite a few stores and we both got some pretties. You may have guessed that I got more sugar skulls. If so then you guessed right.    Some of these are things that I picked up yesterday. But I figured I would share all of my new sugar skull pretties. I also picked up some Halloween decor that will be going on my Christmas tree this year. But that is just a small portion of the things I've gotten. I also got new things for my planner, makeup, a new bluetooth speaker, and a few odds and ends.     Over all it was a really great day. It's been a while since mom and I just enjoyed a girls day. I have to admit that is probably the only down fall of moving away from the small pit of hell called Bowie. We all miss her, but at least we are still...

   Let me start by saying that today started off great. For once I actually got to sleep in without any argument from little man. That alone was reason enough to rejoice. I ended up waking up before he did. He slept till nearly noon which was perfectly okay with me. After all, it did give me some me time which I spent watching Marvel Jessica Jones. It's a series on Netflix that I have become rather fond of. I guess there is a little geek left underneath all this prissiness.    After running a few errands, we got to go spend some time with some new friends of ours and their kids. We all had a blast. We grilled. We chatted and shared life stories. We played phase 10 and had a bit to drink. It was actually really fun. And honestly it was nice to spend time with like minded individuals. I mean, don't get me wrong... the kinksters are nice to hang out with but these people were more like us. Lifestylers.    We had only intended on being there for maybe a few h...

   Does anyone else ever feel like the last quarter of the year sends their heads spinning? Or is that just me? It seems like every year near this time I lose focus. I can't seem to keep my thoughts in line. They are everywhere. Literally. I of course have my every day thoughts.. bills, things needed, appointments, schedules, to do list. And then to add to it, this time of year I start planning Thanksgiving, Christmas, preparing for shorter checks due to holidays. My brain becomes mush. Ever little unplanned detail stresses me out.    I wish I could say that this year was different from the last 10. But it's not. I am still dealing with those stresses. But I'm trying to handle them differently this year. Instead of acting like I'm Superwoman, I'm going to try to take things a bit slower. Slowly prepare. I'm trying to not let my every day stress take over. I'm taking time to just breath.    Unfortunately, today is going to be a very busy day. My body more ...

    I'm not going to stay gone from blogland forever, I just need a break. Due to the recent chain of events... I just need to get back in my own headspace for a while. I'll be back eventually. Toodles.

   After a talk with an old friend of mine, I realized the biggest problem we all have in our relationships is that we don't have patience or forgiveness. I remember my grandma telling me shortly after I married my ex that "your marriage will never last a life time if you don't learn to forgive him for the same stupid mistakes every day for the rest of your life." I have to say that goes both ways. But another problem we have is that everyone expects a 50/50 relationship all the time. Well it isn't always like that is it?    There are always going to be days that your spouse makes a mistake. And there will be a million times that your spouse can't give that 50%. It's those days that you have to dig deep and remember how much you love them. Muster up the strength to cover that little bit that they couldn't give that day. Or forgive them for whatever it is they have done.    We don't do that anymore. We don't look at our spouses as o...