The Life I Chose to live

As much as I hate addmitting when something is wrong, I have to admit that I am still not okay. I've been working with my therapist and psychologist in desparate attempt to get back to some sort of normalcy. Long story short, the situation with my mother has caused a major flare up in my PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I had spent months working with my therapist to reach a point where I hadn't needed medication to function somewhat normally. But this has caused a landslide. I am back on medication and I don't feel that they are working the way they should. My therapist has had me working on a thing called ACOA (Adult Child Of an Alcoholic) again. Basically she wants me to realize that I am in no way responsible for my mothers actions and that my mothers (either current or past) addictions are to blame for her piss poor decision making skills. While I wish we were working on this to rekindle my mother and I's relationship and fix those flaws... its not. My therapi

I know I went MIA for a while. But in my defense, I had a lot going on. That crappy job I had.. well I quit. Turns out, I'm not meant to work in mediocre nursing homes with subpar care. I'm not one that can stand by and watch residents be mistreated or neglected. And because I decided to go above my supervisor's head and talk to the owner about the issues I was getting a lot of retaliation. It was just too much. I was going to make a post about all of that, but ended up in a frenzy trying to prepare for my mother to come visit. It was the first time I've seen her in 8 years, so I wanted everything to be perfect. Sadly the visit was all but perfect. During her 2 week stay she spent 3 days whining and crying about her dog that couldn't come (due to travel restrictions) and bitching about her boyfriend of 5 years not even being able to follow simple directions and care for her dog and car. I wish the visit would have just continued that way. But then she brok