The Life I Chose to live

    I have spent 12 hours today cleaning, decluttering, and putting up more of my Nightmare before Christmas decorations. I'll be sure to take pictures soon and get them posted. But mostly I spent the day cleaning and decluttering. I went through every room in the house.  Let me tell you, I am exhausted but it was well worth it. It's so rewarding to look around and see that everything is clean.    O er the last couple of weeks I haven't really had the energy or time to do a thorough deep cleaning and my headspace definitely proved it. But now I feel like I can breathe. I doubt it will last long raising 6 kids... But at least for now I feel accomplished.     And to reward myself... A nice hot bubble bath.

     So if you can't see it all that well, this is just a small piece of my Nightmare before Christmas collection that I have moved to the living room in the spirit of Halloween. Ok, maybe I am lying a little. I keep my Nightmare before Christmas decorations up all year round.. but they normally just stay in our bedroom.     But I have decided to expand my collection since so many items have been added to the market. I did have just my tree, ornaments, and snow globes, shower curtains and bathroom decor (for both bathrooms)... Followed by a few stuffiest. But now I have place mats, oven mitts, pictures, light up figurines, a wreath, and even a rug and doormat.     The kids are even joining in on my fun and have decided that they want Jack Skellington bedding for their big Christmas gifts. I'll be getting my own of course once we purchase our new bed. Most would say that this is a great idea for Halloween and Christmas, but this will be our ye...

Well today is the day. Today marks the beginning of the 2021-2022 school year. It started off as a really early morning. 5:45 this morning to be exact. But we decided to get everyone up and ready a little early so we could get pictures, have breakfast, and go over our expectations for the school year. I have a feeling it is going to be a great year for them and all of their teachers seem amazing. Funny story of the day. I now have been labeled as "that mom". The mom who wakes up early to bake muffins for school breakfast, does some cute hairstyle on my girls, adjust their clothing to ensure they are looking their best, exc. I guess I am becoming "that mom" because as soon as I got the kids off to school I immediately started cleaning. Oh well. I would rather be "that mom" than a crappy one. I can't be held at fault for wanting the best for all of my kids. I just hope they have an amazing first day.

Ok so normally I'm not too excited about change. In fact, most of the time when I change something it turns out horrible. But this time things are a bit different. I am excited for the changes coming my way. I really feel like it will do me some good. In fact, I feel like if I can stick to the plan, I will be doing amazing. So we all know that the new school year is just around the corner. It starts in one week for my kids. We already did kinder kamp for Damian and Destiny. (That overwhelmed me a bit.) I expected that I would be there with Damian the whole time, but it was one of those drop off and pick up situations. Turns out he was ahead of most of the other children in his grade level. And he was excited to be back in the school setting. I can't lie, I'm excited for them to be back in school too.. Maybe I will be able to regain some of my sanity. We go for meet the teacher night on Tuesday and I am overly excited to meet whichever one of the amazing teachers that ...

As much as I hate addmitting when something is wrong, I have to admit that I am still not okay. I've been working with my therapist and psychologist in desparate attempt to get back to some sort of normalcy. Long story short, the situation with my mother has caused a major flare up in my PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I had spent months working with my therapist to reach a point where I hadn't needed medication to function somewhat normally. But this has caused a landslide. I am back on medication and I don't feel that they are working the way they should. My therapist has had me working on a thing called ACOA (Adult Child Of an Alcoholic) again. Basically she wants me to realize that I am in no way responsible for my mothers actions and that my mothers (either current or past) addictions are to blame for her piss poor decision making skills. While I wish we were working on this to rekindle my mother and I's relationship and fix those flaws... its not. My therapi...

I know I went MIA for a while. But in my defense, I had a lot going on. That crappy job I had.. well I quit. Turns out, I'm not meant to work in mediocre nursing homes with subpar care. I'm not one that can stand by and watch residents be mistreated or neglected. And because I decided to go above my supervisor's head and talk to the owner about the issues I was getting a lot of retaliation. It was just too much. I was going to make a post about all of that, but ended up in a frenzy trying to prepare for my mother to come visit. It was the first time I've seen her in 8 years, so I wanted everything to be perfect. Sadly the visit was all but perfect. During her 2 week stay she spent 3 days whining and crying about her dog that couldn't come (due to travel restrictions) and bitching about her boyfriend of 5 years not even being able to follow simple directions and care for her dog and car. I wish the visit would have just continued that way. But then she brok...

It seems like everything in my life decided to stop and take a pause for a while. But good news.. I finally got a day off so I am able to stop and fix a few things to get everything up and running smoothly again. I was able to take a minute and speak with the attorney over the wreck. Looks like we are finally reaching a point to get the truck fixed. We already started the "healing" process with the chiropractor. But somehow it seems to hurt worse than it's helping. Who knew that having your body adjusted was so painful. And physical therapy is even worse. Talk about sore muscles and aching. ugh. I finally got our security camaras updated and installed. So now I can keep a better eye on my household while I am away. The video quality and sound quality are so much better. I can actually hear what is being said vs. hearing a ton of static. I also managed to have time to get my computer working the way it should again. (It was down for a couple of weeks, hens...