Changes on the horizon

Ok so normally I'm not too excited about change. In fact, most of the time when I change something it turns out horrible. But this time things are a bit different. I am excited for the changes coming my way. I really feel like it will do me some good. In fact, I feel like if I can stick to the plan, I will be doing amazing. So we all know that the new school year is just around the corner. It starts in one week for my kids. We already did kinder kamp for Damian and Destiny. (That overwhelmed me a bit.) I expected that I would be there with Damian the whole time, but it was one of those drop off and pick up situations. Turns out he was ahead of most of the other children in his grade level. And he was excited to be back in the school setting. I can't lie, I'm excited for them to be back in school too.. Maybe I will be able to regain some of my sanity. We go for meet the teacher night on Tuesday and I am overly excited to meet whichever one of the amazing teachers that Damian will be placed with this year. My only hope is that she is as amazing as his teacher from Pre-K. As for myself, I will be undergoing some changes myself once school starts. I've already set up a schedule that will allow me time to rejoin the gym and have plenty of time to clean my house and have some self love time. I think it is exactly what I need. I need more time to focus on myself. I need to find mysef again. So that is exactly what I have planned. My new planner has already beena big help in my futuristic planning. Well, planners. Thanks to my MIL (Joey's mother whom even though him and I are not together she will forever be my MIL.) I now have two separate planner set ups. One is for the household and one for my own personal needs. The one for the household contains all of the appointments for myself and the household, school functions, school schedule and vacations,bill due dates..paid, exc. My personal planner is set up for me to get back on track. It contains to do list, a daily schedule, and my health tracker. So far it seems to be helping a lot. It also helps that I have set up a large wall calender so keeping up with everything doesn't completely fall on me. Plus it helps everyone else know when my therapy appointments are and when not to bother me. I've also reverted back to an old coping mechanism. When I feel like I have no control over myself or my situation, I rearrange my house. So you can only imagine. Yup my whole house has been rearranged. But it turns out to be a very good thing. I've managed to finally find a living room arrangement that works. I've also been able to find arrangements that allow everyone a place for all of their belongings. In the process I also eliminated a ton of clutter. So it worked out for me in more ways than one. I wish all of these lifestyle changes were the only changes on the horizon, however they are not. I'm also working on some internal issues. I've really been putting my therapy to work. Every week we come up with another small goal to acheive. This last session we decided to practice only worrying about things I can control. I may not be able to control other peoples decisions but I can control how I let it effect me. Sound simple enough right? Yeah not really. I'm a mother hen to say the least. I have to feel in control of my life and everything around me. Learning to let things play out on their own just isn't in my nature. But in order to get any type of peace I have to. I have to learn that I'm not in control of everything... and that is okay. So I'm focusing on what is within my control. In doing all of this I am also teaching myself that I am not to blame for others behaviors. Like the situation with my mother.. I did not choose her actions so therefore I can not be to blame for her consequences. Only she can deal with the bed she chose to lay in. She is a grown woman and I can't fix anything for her. Anyway.. long story wrapped up into one simple sentence... Things are going to change. I'm changing things within my home and myself. So wish me luch as I move on towards this next chapter in my life. I think I will name it "the learning" chapter. Bright blessings lovlies.