The Life I Chose to live

   Earlier today Joey's mom messaged me letting me know that there was a sale going on at Hobby Lobby. I told Joey when he called me for a little chat this evening. He, of course, told me to use his bank card and go get myself whatever it was that I wanted. So that's exactly what I did.                               With everything that I juggle, I've been meaning to get a new planner that suits all of my needs. This one now meets all expectations. It has my monthly to keep track of all appointments, Joey's time back home, kids visitations, and when bills are due.. All at a glance. It has my weekly so I can give myself more in depth elaborations of what everything is for. In the back I added a section to jot down notes or important messages. Then right at the front, I added a section for a to do list and post-it's for emergency reminders.     So far I love it. Thank you Jo...

Celebrating Joey moving back home.

   I can't praise Joey enough for the help he's given over this last week. Yesterday and today especially. My stress levels have been through the roof here lately with everything that is going on. I talk to Brandi, of course, but she doesn't know how to talk me off of a ledge like Joey does. Unfortunately he has 5 years of experience of talking me off of ledges. But he has definitely helped me through this week. I wish I could say the worst of it is over with, but we all know that is not the case. Life has been throwing me curve balls here lately and they don't seem to be coming to an end any time soon. But thankfully I have my rock.    I'm back to learning how to juggle everything all at once. Hell, this past week alone we had a doctor's appointment of some sort every day of the week. That wasn't including any of the pop up surprises that came up. We had a problem with our oldest daughter and lice earlier this week. That threw me into a frenzy. I treated e...

   Has anyone ever heard that old saying about friends? I can't remember it word for word but it was something about some friends being for just a little while and some being there the rest of your life. I'm really realizing how true that is. I have had friends that only stuck around for a few months, and I've had friends that are still here 10+ years later. I am happy to say that my ex is still one of those lifetime people.    I remember when I first met him. I wasn't quite sure what to make of him. There wasn't much to him. Just a scrawny white boy, baggy clothes, and an attitude from hell. (much like my own.) I thought I would never get rid of him. We had mutual friends and he knew my family. Back then I tried to get rid of him. I even moved to a different state. Every time I would end up unfriending him on facebook, He'd just send another one from another account a couple months later. He was like that stray cat that you couldn't get rid of. Looking bac...

   How many times do you have to say "I'm tired" for someone to get the hint to get up and help? It seems like every relationship I've ever been in, eventually it all lands in my lap. Financial planning, bill paying, house hunting, kids, cleaning, cooking... everything. I never get a fucking break. I'm always doing something in or for the house. I'm always making appointments, or something to do with the kids. I'm always fucking busy. Even my down time is spent running numbers through my head. I get beyond the point of exhaustion. And yet somehow it never registers in anyone else's brain "hey... maybe I should help." NO it always boils down to me having to scream and yell at someone to get off their lazy asses and do something productive.     I don't know what world people live in but they need to realize bills don't pay themselves, rooms don't clean themselves, dinner doesn't cook itself, and this house doesn't...

   Okay, so I have to be honest. Over the last few months I've gained some weight. I went from being 145 pounds to 160 pounds. That's a whole 15 pounds in 5 months. I've been told people gain weight when they are happy but damn. I'm not the only one that has put on some weight. Brandi has too. She has gained about the same amount of weight. But now to the good part. We realized the problem and are actively doing something about it. Not only are we dieting but we started taking Hydroxycut Max for women.    This is the first time I've tried this particular weight loss aid. But I have to admit that I like this one. 5 days in and I have had more energy than I ever have with any other weight loss aid. It effectively helps curb appetite and cravings. Definitely worth the $20. I haven't had to pair it with other aids like I have had to do with others in the past. Hopefully it is just as effective on the weight loss side of things. So wish me luck.

   Nights like tonight remind me how truly blessed I am. I have an amazing support system. Between Joey, Brandi, the kids, and a few close friends... I have all that I will ever need. I love that despite everything Joey and I are still very close. I love the fact that we are still comfortable enough with one another that he stays the night. Although I really wish he would stay out of my bed. (Do you have any clue how uncomfortable a queen bed can get with 4 people in it?)     Tonight was all about having fun and enjoying each others company. And we did that... As a family. Like we used to. I miss those days and I know joey and Brandi do too. Even she has admitted to missing him. Hell... He's admitted to missing her at times as well. Knowing that we can all still be that close makes me feel safe and loved. Its a wonderful feeling.    But anyway.. The day has come to an end. Everyone else is passed out. So i guess i should try to sleep as well. Bright bless...