In my feelings

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   Okay, so I'll admit that lately the lack of a relationship with my parents has been weighing heavily on me. I look at my kiddos and see all the joy and happiness they bring me and wonder how can any parent not want that with their own flesh and blood... or with any child they lay claim to? My kids are the very reason I live and breath. While yes, there are plenty of times they cause what seems like and incurable migraine, they bring me so many happy moments as well.

    I never got the feeling that I made either of my parents happy at any point. My father raised 3 children that were not his and didn't even meet me until I was 12. Then he didn't return until I was 17. Sad to say our moral values didn't align and that relationship was short lived. My mother raised me, mostly, but we never had a connection either. In fact most of my life I felt that I was a mistake and unwanted. That didn't change in my adult life either.

       It pains me to see that she has been reunited with my younger brothers and to see her truly happy. It pains me even worse to see the captions of "spending time with my perfect family" exc. How could it be perfect if one whole portion of your family is missing? I could never feel whole without all of my children. I could never feel as if everything was perfect if every one of my kids weren't there. I just couldn't. I couldn't disregard one of my children as if they didn't exist. How could any parent?


Comments

  1. TiffanySeptember 18, 2023 at 10:13 PM

    (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))) great pics of kids

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brittany PriceSeptember 26, 2023 at 12:04 PM

    I have tried, and tried, and tried with my mother. She's a drug addict and a narcissist. She doesn't like the fact that I can not and will not be controlled. She also doesn't like the fact that I do not allow drugs of any kind around my children. That being just the tip of the iceburg...She refuses to change in order to get to know us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2023 at 5:06 PM

    What a terrible loss for her. You'd think those 2 cuties would melt her heart enough that she'd change. Time goes so damn quick she will never be able to capture these times. My heart goes out to you. I really don't have words to stop the hurt.

    ReplyDelete

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