Is it just me?

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    I can't be the only one in this world that deals with the constant power struggle with their spouse. And before we get started I will openly admit that this post is very much related to my last about "men's expectations of women".

    I keep going into this power struggle with J. He drives an 18 wheeler for a living and I understand the strain that can put on a person. The long hours and time spent away from home is a pain in the ass. The traffic is also irritating at times. But that doesn't mean his job is any harder than mine. And it damn sure doesn't make him my superior. No matter how many times we have this same conversation he sees me being a stay at home mom as less than his job. Even when I was working he didn't see me as an equal.

     His job (if he would work regularly) is a set schedule. He knows every day what time he is going in and a roundabout time that he will be getting off. He knows pretty well what headache he is walking into. He knows who and what he will be dealing with. And if he wants to call off or take a weekend and just relax he can. (I say this because if you know anything about J, he doesn't really help with anything around the house without an argument first.)

   My job as a stay at home mom is very unpredictable. I never know what mood the kids are going to wake up in. I never know if they will be sick, tired, cranky, or just obnoxious. I don't have a set schedule on when I will have to wake up or when I will get to go to bed. Yes, occasionally I will get to take a nap if I am still tired, but most days don't permit it. Asides from dealing with children and unpredictability, I also have to be at nearly every doctor, therapist, psychologist, an school appointment because I am the main care giver and I am the only one that knows all of the childrens medications, medical conditions, and insurance information. I'm also the only person that knows all information for all of the utilities and bills... so not only do I have to pay all the bills, but I'm held responsibility of gathering an estimate of what those bills will run weeks before they are due. In between doing all of the above I am also responsible for the cooking, cleaning, and maintaining the household.

     Basically all responsibilities of the household except working to provide an income for the household fall on me. So someone please tell me who's job is harder. I know they are equally important, but damn I work my ass off daily without really ever having a day off just to be ridiculed and no thanks given. Not to mention when I do decide to take a breath for myself and maybe try to sleep in, I  have other people choose to wake me up and have me start my day before I am ready to.

     Is it just me that deals with this or is this a common situation that SAHM deal with? because personally I am sick of it.

Comments

  1. Paula CSeptember 21, 2022 at 7:40 AM

    No it is not just you. Many people feel like J. The "bread winner" thinks since they pay all the bills they are more important in the family. The stay home is 'lucky" . They think the stay home gets to do whatever they want. No set schedule to them is freedom. But there is no fairy that magically cleans bathrooms or does laundry. And once the kids are in school that party starts..NOT! Sometimes we need to remind them what we do is just as important Our job is just as tiring. Hopefully you can get through to J.

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