EMDR

    So one of you lovely ladies asked me to share my journey with EMDR. I've only had one session so far (with many more to come). I will say that the experience is far different from normal therapy sessions. The first session is all about creating a safe place in your mind. So think back to the safest place you remember. 

   For me this was a property my papaw had when I was little. I lived with him out there for a most of my early childhood. Now visualize it.. let your mind drift off and just be there. Remember the sights, the sounds, the way it smelled, and if there was someone connected to that place that made you feel safe... put them there with you.

   For me this was hard. I could see the gravel driveway, the peach trees, the quail in their pen. I could see the pond and ducks... and the first time in many years I could see my papaws face. I could smell the fresh cut grass and the lingering odor of his BRUT cologne. I could taste the fresh peaches and the feel of the grass beneath my feet. I could hear my papaws voice just as clear as day. 

    For a brief moment, I was completely at peace. But the hard part was bringing myself back to reality. Using eye movement and touch you bring yourself back to the present. Make yourself aware of whats happening in the here and now and feeling safe.

    Me? I broke. I cried like a baby. But it was to be expected. My "safe place" was always with my papaw, but after his passing I never grieved. I guess that's what I'm processing now. It's necessary in order to create my safe place to go to when I start trying to remember the traumatic experiences from earlier in life.

   It's going to be a long emotional road, but it's supposed to help me desensitize those traumatic experiences so that I can handle day to day life without the emotional roller coaster as well as help reduce the anxiety that comes with it.

   I'll be sure to post updates along my journey. Hopefully it will help some people along the way.