Over the Holidays
So this year wasn't as great as I had planned. Depression tried to start kicking in early this year. Before Thanksgiving ever hit, I ended up in one of my "end of the world" breakdowns. It wasn't so pretty. But I had the best people by my side that pulled me out of it fairly quick. I was okay by Thanksgiving morning. But that wasn't the last I seen of my depression. It hit even harder come Christmas. I ended up in a whirl wind of emotions on Christmas Eve... but again I was lucky enough to have both Brandi and Joey here to help me pull myself out of it.
While Brandi and the kids are great at reminding me that I have an amazing loving family here at home with me, Joey is always the tough one that pulls me out of bed and makes me busy my mind. But this time it was different. He reminded me that Hell nor high water could take away the love he and our son have for me. It was then that I realized how lucky I truly am.
I may not have my blood family, But I have an amazing family that I created for myself. Although Joey and I may not be together there is always going to be a special bond between us. And the love that Brandi and I share is unmistakable. And I have a rather large group of kids that love me and cherish me as their mother. I am nowhere near as alone in this world as I once thought I was. I had that proven to me on Christmas Eve. I had a house full of people that love me. And Christmas Day was spent with Brandi's family that showed me just how much they care too. Brandi and I were confronted by her mom and family.. Turns out, even though we have only been together just over 3 months... they would be very accepting of me being Brandi's wife. It is actually a day that is being looked forward to.
But all that aside... I am glad to see the Holidays come to an end. I am excited to see normalcy and routine. But most of all I am glad that I had the experiences I did over the holidays. My life may not be perfect.. I am not perfect. But I am loved. There are people out there that love me for who I am. And although some of of those people and I have had horrendous things happen between us, I still have a family outside of those I share a home with. I will forever be grateful that there is so much love in my life.
While Brandi and the kids are great at reminding me that I have an amazing loving family here at home with me, Joey is always the tough one that pulls me out of bed and makes me busy my mind. But this time it was different. He reminded me that Hell nor high water could take away the love he and our son have for me. It was then that I realized how lucky I truly am.
I may not have my blood family, But I have an amazing family that I created for myself. Although Joey and I may not be together there is always going to be a special bond between us. And the love that Brandi and I share is unmistakable. And I have a rather large group of kids that love me and cherish me as their mother. I am nowhere near as alone in this world as I once thought I was. I had that proven to me on Christmas Eve. I had a house full of people that love me. And Christmas Day was spent with Brandi's family that showed me just how much they care too. Brandi and I were confronted by her mom and family.. Turns out, even though we have only been together just over 3 months... they would be very accepting of me being Brandi's wife. It is actually a day that is being looked forward to.
But all that aside... I am glad to see the Holidays come to an end. I am excited to see normalcy and routine. But most of all I am glad that I had the experiences I did over the holidays. My life may not be perfect.. I am not perfect. But I am loved. There are people out there that love me for who I am. And although some of of those people and I have had horrendous things happen between us, I still have a family outside of those I share a home with. I will forever be grateful that there is so much love in my life.
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